Or, Things That Are Making it More and More Difficult to Arrange Playdates with Friends.

Or, Things That Make Me Want to Crawl Under a Rock With My Son In An Effort To Completely Avoid the Outside World.

So if you’re a friend -real life- then one of these reasons (or a cocktail of these reasons), is probably the answer to why you haven’t heard from me in a while.

1. Little Man is terrified of babies, or smaller children who can’t talk in full sentences. I think this one is due to the high noise levels, the lack of clear communication, and just an overall unpredictability. Scratch off a few friends there.

2. He is also afraid (thanks to a Dog Named Stupid) of animals that normally walk freely (i.e. not in a cage or an aquarium) in their owners’ homes. Again, unpredictability, noise, and sometimes smells. Lately, unless I have called ahead to ask friends/family to “put their pets away,” Little Man will go into hysterics about it. He refuses to enter their houses. A few more friends just dropped off the radar.

3. Little Man has always been “afraid” of foods that he doesn’t like the look/smell of. If we go to a friend’s house and there is food being served, chances are Little Man will ask to leave as soon as he sees the food, or he’ll ask to eat in different room. Also, sometimes he’ll ask to wrap up his lunch, so he can “take it home and eat it later.” Again, I think this is due to the smells, and perhaps the noise involved when eating with other kids. He has been known to gag on his own food if he looks at someone else who is eating a food he thinks he doesn’t like. I say “thinks”, because it is probably a food that he has never even tasted. Ever. Oh, looky, looky: there go the rest of our friends. They’re dropping like flies.

4. Water games. Oh, fun times in the summer. Yeah, right. Little Man likes playing water games at home because he knows that Hubby will play the “right” way. The idea of playing water games with other kids, though, is just ludicrous, in LM’s mind. He is really sensitive to water coming anywhere near his face, though we’ve noticed a slight improvement with this at home. He likes the splash pad, the pool, the hose, the slip-n-slide even, but only if there are no other kids in sight. Scratch summer games and watery get-togethers.

I’m feeling quite melancholy about the whole thing tonight. I realize that the summer is half over and we haven’t seen many of our friends. Honestly, there have been a great number of days through June and July when I’ve barely been able to scrape up the energy to face all of Little Man’s anxieties by myself at home, let alone with friends or out in public. It’s time-consuming, it’s exhausting, and it makes me very bitchy a lot of the time. This week, due to his Occupational Therapy appointment and a doctor’s appointment in which I’ll ask for a referral to the anxiety clinic at our children’s hospital (recommended by both the child psych andthe OT), and a swimming lesson (private, of course!), I wouldn’t even have time for playdates if friends were to ask. Thank God, really.

The truth is, though, I often worry that some of our friends are losing the energy to be bothered with us. I’m not looking for sympathy or affirmation, I’m just putting my feelings out here. Because, honestly, if I  were my friend, I’m not sure I  would have the energy to deal with Little Man. He’s high maintenance.

If any other SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) moms are reading this, I’d be interested in having a dialogue with you about this. I’m going to ask our OT about it some more tomorrow, but I’m always questioning which things I should be accommodating Little Man on, and which things I should be pushing him on. Know what I mean?

Kia